Americanism in One Country!

This is a satirical piece I wrote for NetRightNation:

When the founding fathers got together to write the Declaration of Independence, they believed that there were some inalienable rights that were being infringed upon. These are life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness, which was originally property. Americans are now faced with losing their homes and their beloved car companies that have brought them car classics like the Mustang and Corvette. The American way of living is dying and so are the rights our founding fathers fought for. What is the good of life and liberty, if you do not have property?

The action of the government in assuring and renegotiating mortgages and giving direct money to the car companies are not enough. This only assures short-term growth and short-term happiness. We instead should show Americans, that the best car is one that is made by Americans. We must assure that the taxpayers get what they are investing in and we should assure that every household owns one American car.

We shall have this like our future health insurance and our current social security just factored into our pay checks. One car per household. That way there will be around 2-5 people working for this car, depending on how many kids.  Of course, with our current deficit we should try to make the cars as cheap and affordable as possible. We should offer one color and three types. The first type would be for the larger family and they would be mini-vans. The second type would be a pick-up truck for laborers and the last would be a small efficiency car for others. We shall also institute voting for the leaders of our glorious car industry. This will be democracy to the corporate system and we can assure that they will look out for our interests as Americans.

This would surely restore the rights of Americans that the founding fathers put forth in the Declaration of our Independence. Independence from foreigners trying to destroy our competitive market and ruining the American Dream the great leader Henry Ford created. We should in fact consider banning the companies from building their factories in our country. You may say that the other companies are giving us American jobs, but in fact they are avoiding are tariffs to keep our American companies strong. Why should we allow the Japanese business men get the profits from American labor. The CEO’s do not pay taxes in American and do nothing but suck the wealth from our country.

This is why I am proposing “Americanism in one country.” If we follow these principles I have laid out we can continue to save the American Dream and our glorious industries. Those crazies who do not believe that this is the right should be cast out and thrown in jail so that they can be useful to our government and make license plates for the massive amounts of wonderful cars that will be issued to our people.

This is life, liberty, and the assuring of property/happiness in the 21st Century that we should expect from an Obama Administration.


Published in: on November 17, 2008 at 7:46 pm  Leave a Comment  
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